Birthday

today is my birthday.. well, actually yesterday was my birthday, already past midnight now.

nothing special in this birthday, just the only presents from my beloved girl ad a bunch of wishes and greting. as for me, I fell nothing special at all. usually i spend my birthday with spending it with God, well, not this time. too busy to do meditation. yes, i'm too busy. yeah, perhaps God gave present by giving this job. i did documentation photo for elizabeth's parents house.. with good price i think. just need to work it out.

just want to thank God for everything, even i feels like dont wan't to give thanks at all.. God still good all the time. and I belive that He cares for me... good nite, i'm very very sleepy...

Location:Home, gading elok timur 2.

phill pringle service with painting

Today service on JPCC, unusual sermon by Phill Pringle, maybe not unusual for Phill, at least for me and JPCC this is the first time someone preaching while painting, or painting while preaching... or preaching with painting - whatever-. and while he paint, bid is open. and the money from bidding is half for building fund for JPCC. Awesome picture, and sold for US$ 20.000.

EOS 7D

last week I bought my dream camera for now. canon EOS 7D, price 18 million rupiah.
a very good gear to equip me, even i use my credit card, i belive that God will supply my need.
the best deal is ful hd videocam with this camera, I can make even a real movie with this camera.

JPCC Workers' Christmas dinner

today is JPCC workers' christmas dinner and end year gathering. As usual, so many prizes are being spread. a very great moment and most waited for workers in JPCC. great moment great value, made us, the workers being appreciated. I love this church, the Leaders, everything in this church is awesome. well, it never been perfect, but it alive. this church is alive. elevate the value of peoples live.

last year i got ipod nano 4th gen 8gb in this event, and 2 years ago, I got 1 million MAP voucher. well not this time. somehow, from the very begining of the event, i never been excited like years before, I dont know how, but i wish nothing. well, actually i wish i get the prize, but just feel that , today is not my day, i have enough, need nothing. i just being the part of the event.

God have given me so much that I cannot even count. and yet, with all God's gift for me, i haven't maximize them yet, so inside my heart, i just want... God himself. Lord, u know I still love u without the prizes. i just really feel that let the prizes for the others.

how i miss Your Presece God..... you alone I long, I want & I really really need...

Traffic Ticket

I just get traffic ticket from police officer.. i don't know if i did wrong or not, i just not sure. he said that i crossed the red light, meanwhile i don't see the hidden redlight. actually i was not sure if it red light or green light, because the road is empty.

Long story short, I tell them I want to pay on the bank. so they gave me ticket with penalty Rp 50.000,- quite surprised, but stupidly i was not ask them about that. anyway one thing I know, the money is not going to their pocket. at least to the government. I grumble for a while. but later i feel good, because I did the right thing. it like someone gave me a pat in my back and said "boy, u did a right thing" Later when I got home, i seek the truth about the traffic ticketing over the internet (thank to this technology).

well, i got some truth, and the most annoyed thing is that I found that my penalty just cost Rp 15.000,- meanwhile that police officer charged me Rp 50.000,- Tomorrow I will try to find out what I can do to make this thing right, but if nothing I can do because I already sign my ticket, it will be okay for me. another Rp 35.000,- is to pay the truth I just found and they cannot fool me again.

Thanks mr officer, you just made me smarter now, and no more dirty trick for me... and I don't want to curse them, let God take care of they who causes problem with His children... (actually I want to curse, but my heart says different-I think God said no to me-, so I better obey)

here is the link to the truth about traffic ticket: http://transparansi.or.id//images/stories/kajian/tabel.html

Menumpuk

many things i'd not written on this blog. either it was passed by, lost the mood to wrote, or just lazy, until I have no more desire to write. but I have to learn to write anyway...


Well, lets remember what i skipped...


first I think is the mission trip to Bangka Island, 2 days and 1 night only with fellow daters Gading 1. what we did was doing some free medication. general medication and dental medication. funny thing was the fact that the people there have problem with dental health, because the water contain tin (bangka is one of the largest world tin suplier) that made tey teeth so fragile. and everybody come to our dentist ask her to took of their teeth.


That was the most memorable thing for me. It was some great experience to revive my heart for mission. to share God's love, for what in God's heart are alwasy the souls of the lost.


the next thing I'm gonna write is about the workshop in surabaya. I just think that I was horrible doing my presentation. surprisingly, they very enthusiastic. that made me miss the time and motivate me to made some more Film.and, really that time i feel that was my strength. I feel good when I did that, not like when I'm doin some photography job, it was totally different. that time I know, my destination is in movie making.


And now, I'm at Ritz Carlton PAsific Place. Kwendy ask me if I would join them, so we stay here for 1 night. mom, kwendy, eva, kwento, mimi, marvel, fidel, michelle and me. Good place to stay, i like it. and it's a good night. I just wonder, when will I have enough money to spend holiday in a very elegant hotel like this.

Invitation to Mawar Sharon Surabaya

Damn, the connection fail and i have write all over agai for this blog.

the mood is diferent. damn computer. ok, just make it fast.

last friday Bona called me and ask me if next thursday until saturday i will be free. actually I have some works to do, but as usual I can manage my time. so I answered yes. so he tell me that Mawar Sharon Church in Surabaya is gonna make some workshop about performing arts on thursday until saturday, then he ask me if i willing to join him and fla to ga to surabaya. Well, when other church ask us as representative of JPCC for anything, first, it's must be a good event, second, it must be free. I have nothing to loose, new experience, new education, new ninfo, new friends, and especially, free!!

so yes is my answer imidiately. after that, later bona called me again and he asked me when will we have meeting to prepare the material for the workshop. First word in my mind was: "WHAT?" i tought we will join some seminar about performing arts, the fact is we will give the workshop.
O O W . . .

But then I think, " hey, could it be God who set up this?" well, nothing happen without God's permission, at least that is what I belive. Maybe this is the time He want to bring me up to another level. besides, I think it is the chance I learn to beat my comfort Zone. and rise the standard. not just receive things, but to share, to give. -for give is the gift for the giver-
Yes, its kinda exciting to have this chance. what I can do is just prepare.
now is 1 day to go to Surabaya, but my session is on the last day, so I still have pretty much time to prepare. i have no much, but i still can give what I have.

The bottom line is: GOD, I love u!! hahaha, dont know what the connection, but whatever whenever and wherever, God is good., & I love U God!!!!!

cannot focus

these last days i cannot focus. times fly by, dont know what to do, have no passion, blank . . . i just fall on some trap again and again. HHGGGGRRRRGGGHHHH . . . i don't think I'm in the right track now. God give me some revelation!!! I need to get something to do... what I did lately is something not getting me closser to my destiny. but, I don't know where else to go...

help me God!!!

Fight Again?

About couple weeks ago, when I got a job to take photo event of graduation of SMPK4 Penabur, I met Hardian. Well, he is a teacher in that school, so no wonder I met him.


When he saw me, directly he ask me if i want to compete in a mix martial art match. by that time, i think it was okay to prepare my self again to a fight, and i think that could motivate me to shape up my body and skill again.


after that moment, i got busy to help JPCC kids camp, oxygen youth camp and JPCC aniversary. non stop event in almost 2 weeks, which means no work out and all you can eat food. i gain much weight in almost 2 weeks. damn it! i just start jogging and work out, gain my shape again. Now, within 2 weeks they are gone. Fat again and..... out of stamina.


Today I just trained in hardian's place. and, that's sucks! I realize that the match is not gonna as easy as I tought. I tought my skill is enough. IT'S NOT!!! damn! cannot back off. the only way is move forward. God help me . . .

AFFAIR

"I have a girlfriend, but one day somehow I decide to try to have sex with one of my friend. after the sex, I realize that what I've got is far less than what I've expected. actually there was no joy at all, and it hurt my heart more than anything. I love my girlfriend, and our relationship is fine, I just wonder how it feel. and, so much I regret it. I just don't understand why peoples hanging around and sleep with everybody while it hurt? and why that lifestyle so popular? I just can promise myself and God that I would never do that again. especially with my sweet girl. I don't want to ruin my life with sleeping around strangers. this experience just a lesson for me. I would glad if i never did it, but it's done and I not really regret that much, because, now I know. I've learned. and I'm wiser than before."
- D.A - Jakarta

Well, affair is never better than your legal partner, isn't it? and, affair is hurt our self and our integrity. and if your partner know, it will destroy your relationship.

ga kebayang masuk acara lawakan... hehehe

What a day . . .
hari ini uda males banget ikutan syuting yang ga tau buat syuting apa. dari perguruan Alam semesta cuma bilang buat figuran lah utk acara komedi yang bertema kungfu. lalu terdengar nama komeng sebagai yang punya acara.
Hari ini sebenernya ga enak badan, tapi ga enak bilang sama ko Rudi kalo males ikut, jadi tadi nitip bilangin lewat Michelle, tapi akhirnya ditelp langsung sama ko Rudi, soalnya awalnya kita taunya mau atraksi, sementara dari alam semesta saat ini yang ikut cuma gue yang bisa lompat2 atraksi gitu, jadi dia lumayan kecewa kalo gue ga ikut. soooo, akhirnya dengan cukup rasa terpaksa g ikut, tapi jujur aja dalem ati g rasa ga ada salahnya ikut, toh acara syuting, bukan sekedar atraksi ga jelas. jadi ya cukup dengan senang hati ikut acara ini.

Setelah sampe dan liat set, waduh, ini mah acara lawakan. singkatnya gue diminta dialog juga sama om Eko srimulat, hmmm, grogi abis dapet dialog sama salah satu sesepuh srimulat.. ga tau deh hasilnya gimana, ca'ur banget kali. ga kebayang muka g di tipi. tapi semakin malem g semakin menikmati koq, ada hal-hal yang bisa dipelajari juga. hari ini syuting 2 episode, hari minggu besok 2 episode lagi, syuting terakhir tadi gue da ga gitu grogi, mudah-mudahan minggu g dapet peran yang ada dialog lagi and ga grogi kaya awal syuting tadi, hehehe, banci tampil juga nich. tapi emang rasanya laen sih...

hal goblok lain hari ini adalah, gue minta foto bareng eko srimulat & adul, hahahaha, (minggu giliran komeng dah), padahal gue ketemu artis senior udah sering banget waktu ikutan syuting sama moviesta, artis srimulat juga banyak banget, tapi gue males banget dipoto, secara g juga ngejob sebagai fotografer. tapi kali ini malah gue minta foto, hahaha, keliatan noraknya, hal yang ga akan g lakukan kalo syuting sama moviesta. mungkin ga gue lakukan kalo kerjaan g sebagai fotografer kali ya, kali ini kan gue main bareng.... Ciiieeeehhhhh!!!! wakakakakakakaak, sumpah, bego banget dah hari ini. what a funny day!

(mudah-mudahan nanti bisa g post videonya)

Blind for Reality

What is reality? is it fact? feeling? faith? system?

I don't think that none of those are right . . .

if it's true, so reality is nothing . . . .

or maybe Morpheus is right . . . . we should choose our reality, red pill or blue pill . . .

Monty Tiwa

Kenyamanan adalah musuh utama kemajuan. The minute you feel comfortable you're dead. I hope my brothers realize. Its not about collecting points. Its about getting things done. -Jogja, midnite and tired as hell - Monty Tiwa

This is d one I adorable d most in film industry.
I cannot imagine how influence this man for everyone around him. I'm not somebody in the inner circle of moviesta family, BUT..... this man influence me much...

Monty, if one day you ever read this, i just want to thank you for be the best you are. and you may be never know that you influence me so very much... thank for let me watch you work from the first time you made your own movie. Pocong 3. I promise you I will never give up my way in movie making. one day, I wish we can work together again, not me just as a photographer. but more... I dont know what, but I wish I can prove to you that I am more than I speak I wish...

You are my inspiration and someone I look up to in indonesian movie making world...

Kerja untuk Pensiun

kebanyakan orang indonesia punya pemikiran bahwa kerja tu untuk pensiun. percaya apa ngga buktinya utk jadi pegawai negri, yang ngantri bejibun, malah sampe rebutan tempat sampe rela bayar2 puluhan juta demi bisa jadi pegawai negeri. buat apa? kalo ngga demi uang pensiun. sementara kerjanya sendiri ga maksimal, buktinya uda ga usa dijelasin lagi deh, setiap hari kita ketemu lah. apa lagi kalo sempet main ke kantor pemerintah (aka. kantor pegawai negeri) semua serba santai, waktu masuk kerja jam 9, pekerjaan dimulai dengan baca koran sambil ngopi.... jam 11.30 persiapan lunch, jam 12 kabur ke kantin, ato kalo pangkatnya lumayan tinggi ya lunch di resto2 di luar kantor. Paling cepet jam 1.30 baru muncul lagi di ruangan, lalu jam 3.30 mulai bebenah kerjaan, siap2 pulang, jam 4 naek bus jemputan bagi yang ikut bus dinas. Btw ini hari biasa, belum kalo hari jumat dimana ada jadwal sembayang..... padahal gue sering liat kalo jumat siang setelah pada sembayang, musholla kantor biasanya jadi tempat tidur umum...
Tapi harus diakui ga semua pegawai negeri kerjanya kaya gitu koq, banyak juga yang profesional...

sebenernya pemikiran ini muncul ketika g denger ade gue cerita tentang nyokap. si nyokap cerita kalo dia uda mau pensiun dalam waktu tidak lama lagi dan seluruh usahanya mau di serah terimakan saja kepada anak2nya. (btw nyokap g usaha salon) Dan dia mau enjoy life, cape kerja sampe tua, biayain 3 anak sampe lulus kuliah, uda saatnya beristirahat..... dan menikmati hasil kerja selama hidup..
yah, harus diakui memang kalo nyokap gue itu seorang hard worker, tapi bukan workaholic ya.

Kerja.... setiap orang harus kerja... terutama para pria...
Lulus kuliah/sekolah, kita masuk dunia kerja, kumpulin duit buat kawin, abis kawin, kumpulin duit buat biaya sekolah anak yang mahal gila, abis itu, ditabung buat pensiun, kalo jadi pegawai negeri sih ga usa nabung kali. karena dapet uang pensiun, karena itu orang berlomba2 jadi pegawai negeri.

(duh da makin ngantuk gila nich... makin ga fokus nulisnya... hhrrggghhh...)

kalo g pikir2 koq ya pemikiran tadi tentang kerja untuk pensiun koq ga asik ya? kayanya hidup tuh baru bisa dinikmati setelah kita pensiun, setelah semua kewajiban hidup seperti kawin, berkembang biak dan membesarkan anak sudah di selesaikan. sepertinya kenikmatan baru dapat dicapai ketika semua beban terlepas,termasuk beban pekerjaan.
Gue pribadi bukan orang yang suka kerja. karena bagi gue kerja adalah melakukan sesuatu dengan terpaksa untuk mendapatkan uang yang akan dipakai untuk mencukupi kebutuhan dan keinginan kita. tapi di saat2 tertentu gue bisa menghasilkan uang dari sesuatu yang gue lakukan padahal gue ga berasa kerja, malah cenderung have fun. hanya sekedar melakukan apa yang gue suka. ga dibayar pun akan gue kerjakan dengan senang hati, kalo dibayar ya lebih bagus lah. hehehehe... dan gue pikir menikmati hidup ga harus tunggu pensiun deh.

da dulu deh, otak gue uda mulai hang nich, da ngantuk berath...

Don't Worry

This afternoon, on my way back home from ITC Cempaka, after buying some stuff and service my PSP, on my motorcycle, suddenly, God spoke to me. Don't know how and why, not audible, but somehow I know clearly He said that "tomorrow is not something for you to worried about,for I Am God and I know how to care for what belongs to Me. I know what I'm going to do with your life and I'm in Control. and your portion is just obey and live your life with a total trust in Me. For I know the thoughts that I think of you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future of hope.(Jeremiah 29:11)

I don't know why, it was not a new thing for me to know, but it blow my mind. and i cried. i know He know what I need before i said, even before I know what I need. what god can compare to this God? this is my God.

Life is Wonderful

I love this song very much, worth tought. deep inspiration from Jason Mraz. called life is wonderful

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
And it takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
And it takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to MAKE a mountain

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is full of
Ah la la la la la life is so full of love
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la life is full of
Ah la la la la la life is so full of love

part I like most is:
It takes no time to fall in love
but it takes you years to know what love is
and it takes some fears to make you trust

yes, need no time to fall in love. but to understand love, you need years, even our whole live we still discover and learn about love... because love is not really what we think about love. we think we know enough, but we aren't.

Pemilu 9 April

penting ga sih pemilu?
Pada awalnya g sama sekali ga berminat nyontreng. karena,in fact gue kaga kenal sapa pun caleg di DPR. dan semua koar-koar janji-janji muluk yang mengatasnamakan rakyat. padahal tiap kampanye mereka ninggalin sampah yang bejibun, bikin berantakan jalan, bikin macet jalan sampe berjam-jam. ngatur kampanye biar bisa berjalan tertib tanpa sampah berserakan dan bikin macet gila-gilaan aja ga bisa apa lagi mau ngatur negara yang jauh lebih complicated? seandainya ada partai yang bisa presentasi kerjaannya dengan cara mereka berkampanye tertib tanpa bikin susah orang banyak dengan macet dan sampah, g akan pilih tu partai apapun partai itu.

tadinya gue berminat untuk golput.. sampai nyokap gue memberi pencerahan kalo emang 1 suara itu berarti. ga milih berarti sama dengan lu vote untuk semua partai, ga ada yang nambah dan ga ada yang kurang. tapi apa bener lu mau memberi suara untuk semua partai?
apa lu mau memberi suara untuk partai-partai yang ingin menegakkan "hukum-hukum" tertentu di negara indonesia tercinta ini? apa lu mau memberi suara untuk partai yang ingin membuat keberagaman di negara tercinta ini menjadi seragam? jelas gue ga mau. dan sejak saat itu gue bertekad untuk tidak menyia-nyiakan hak pilih gue saat pemilu.

Sampai pada saat harinya tiba.....
gue bangun agak siang, nyokap bangunin gue untuk mandi dan ke rumah ade gue. karena emang hari itu uda ditentukan untuk hari ngumpul-gumpul keluarga besar dari bokap. lalu gue tanya nyokap, uda nyontreng apa belon? secara gue bingung juga karena pemilu yang lalu lalu, bokap selalu bangunin gue untuk nyoblos. g uda 2 kali nyoblos loh, hehehe... tapi kali ini tidak ada tanda-tanda kehidupan maupun dorongan dari bokap untuk berangkat ke TPS. so gue tenang-tenang aja. Setelah tanya nyokap. ternyata nyokap tidak terdaftar! "What the heck?!" uda 27 taon gue tinggal di Jl Gading Elok Timur 2 BL1 no 14, baru kali ini nyokap gue ga dapet hak pilih? Gila kali ya? da gitu g buka fesbuk and kaskus. ternyata banyak yang emang ga dapet hak pilih karena tidak terdaftar. keluarga ling-ling, istri date leader gue juga ga dapet hak sekeluarga, padahal uda puluhan taon juga tinggal di greenville. pemilu macam apa ini? benar-benar pemilu yang memilukan. alhasil, g langsung cabut ke rumah eva, dimana semua sodara-sodara uda pada kumpul dan ternyata gue liat kelingkingnya satu-satu. hasilnya cuman 1 keluarga yang ada biru-birunya di kelingking. sisanya polos semua... yang milih juga asal-asalan, lempar pulpen, partai mana aja yang kecoret dipilih. geblek ga tuh?

so, what's the point? nyokap gue yang lahirin gue aja ga dapet hak pilih, kenapa gue ikut? sekarang di berita banyak juga yang curang. di fesbuk juga banyak yang kampanye terselubung "minta bantuan" saat pemilu. padahal partainya ga ketauan visi misinya.

Nyesel ga ga nyontreng? ga nyesel sama sekali tuh. apa lagi yang cita-citanya gue pilih emang uda rank 1 tuh sekarang. belon kelar sih, tapi at least sekarang ada di rank pertama.

I wish indonesia bisa lebi bijaksana dan bener kerjanya. ga ngabisin duit negara triliunan rupiah buat bayar kertas pemilu yang segede gaban sementara utang negara ga dibayar-bayar, uda gitu banyak yang golput juga, sia-sia deh tu kertas yang emang uda sia-sia juga karena kertas segede gitu cuman buat dicontreng dikit iprit gitu. what a fool way to spent money.

Ayub

Tadi Kwendy sharing di date ttg ayub. well, I'm so blessed about what he shared. Ayub menderita karena ijin Tuhan atas "tantangan" iblis. ayub kehilangan segalanya, lalu sahabat-sahabatnya datang. mereka ramai2 men-judge ayub. dan ayub membela diri, lalu mengeluh kepada Tuhan. seakan-akan seperti: "gue punya masalah apa sama Lu Tuhan?" hidup uda saleh tapi seakan ga fair apa yang Tuhan lakukan thd Ayub. semua terus berlarut sampe sahabat ayub yang paling muda berbicara netral, ia ga menuduh ayub dan menyalahkan sahabat2 yang lain menuduh ayub, dan membela Tuhan. Lalu Tuhan berbicara sendiri dengan Ayub dan "berperkara" dengan dia.
What an awesome story, and, here's what i have learned:

God is God, and we are not... siapa kita sehingga kita merasa tau apa yang harusnya Tuhan lakukan dan tidak Tuhan lakukan.

ketika kita berdosa, kenapa kita menghakimi diri sendiri dengan berkata kita tidak layak datang dekat Tuhan sementara Tuhan berkata bahwa Ia dekat dengan orang berdosa dan kesalahan kita sudah dilunasi (that's why He came for).

ketika kita melihat artis kristen pindah agama atau pendeta yang jatuh dalam dosa, keapa kita berkata mereka kurang iman, bodoh atau keterlaluan dan berharap kehidupan mereka semakin menurun akibat perbuatan mereka sementara kita tidak mengalami apa yang mereka alami dan sebaliknya, kita seperti menaruh kredit berlebih kepada publik figur "kristen" padahal kita tidak tau seperti apa kehidupan pribadi mereka.

ketika mengalami turbulance dalam pesawat, kita panik dan kuatir serta menyebut2 nama Yesus (which is jarang banget kita sebut selaen waktu nyanyi2 di gereja) daripada percaya bahwa tidak ada sehelai rambutpun jatuh tanpa seijin Tuhan.

Well, God is God, and we are not. He can do what He want do, and far far away from what our most brilliant idea about what He should do...

so, our part is just to believe and do what our manual book says...

Finally I became a blogger. well, i don't really know if i can maintain this blog, because it's not my habit to blogging. but, i just think that if God promised to made me someone great beyond my imagination and i choose to have faith in what He said, so why i don't write down my own journey while I'm still nobody (as a step of faith). so that if one day i become some one, i can look back to this day and remember that God promise is true. and this blog can be a testimony for everybody who read my journey, that God promise never fake.

For now, i just hope that i can maintain to write down my days... hehehe...

but right now, i need to format my laptop. damn viruses....