Here are 20 things I might have told myself in my
twenties:
1. Examine your
foundation carefully.
It’s your worldview. Look deeply at what you value and
what you believe about God and man and truth and reality. And make it your own.
Because it will affect every decision you make. And because life has a way of
picking you up and tossing you around. You always want to nail the landing.
2. Seek healing.
Don’t imagine that the trauma of your childhood has
been left in the past. It simmers under the surface. And it will surprise you
at how suddenly it can boil up or suck you under. The work of healing those
hard places might involve reading books or finding counseling. (Don’t be too
afraid or too ashamed to ask for help.)
3. Remain teachable.
More specifically, find a mentor—a parent, a pastor, a
teacher, a spiritual guide. Or just a person who is living as you would like to
live. Spend time with them. Look and listen and learn. And, most importantly,
be different because of them.
4. Choose your community
carefully.
Your friends will give shape to your life. They will
either stunt your growth or spur you on. And when you find good friends, keep
them. They are like gold. Treasure them. Invest in them. Spur them on too. Be
the kind of friend that you would like to have.
5. Feed yourself.
Feed your body, your mind and especially your soul.
When your soul is starving, you can’t see straight. So learn what sort of
nourishment you need—a group Bible study? A worship song? A long run? An art
project? A prayer with a friend? This is an individual matter, so take the time
to figure out what fills you up.
6. Foster good habits.
As Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days is, of
course, how we spend our lives.” So don’t wait until tomorrow to get up early,
go to bed on time, exercise enough, save money and so on. The patterns of your
life today are the person you will become.
7. Learn to rest.
Though this could fall under “foster good habits,” for
me, it deserves its own point. I am terrible at it. And I can trace this
trouble back to my twenties—when I was single and lonesome and (more) insecure.
And to distract myself, I filled my days and nights to overflowing. A bit
fuller and more frenetic each year. So I would tell my twentysomething self
that busy is not better. And your worth is not measured by the length of your
to-do list.
8. Take sin seriously.
There is no such thing as “getting away with it.” Even
if you don’t “get caught.” Though grace is gigantic and forgiveness is free,
sin does still stain. And the spot will undoubtedly spread further and sink
deeper than you can initially see.
9. Be patient.
Learn to wait well. You are used to getting things in
an instant and on demand. But life doesn’t always work that way. Neither does
God. His timing is rarely yours. But His is always right. He doesn’t rush. And
He never delays. Instead, He unfolds a plan carefully designed and perfectly
timed to bring Him glory. (More on that later.)
10. Don’t worry.
It’s a waste of time, energy and emotion. Worry will
tie you in knots. Keep you up at night. Make you cranky and crazy. Nothing good
ever comes of it. Worry is fear for the future, but worry does nothing to
actually change it. So instead of worrying, make the best decisions you can
right now. That’s all you can do. Then let it be.
11. Evaluate your
emotions.
They are tricky. And they can be trouble. Often, they
spring up from our triggered trauma. For example, let’s say (hypothetically)
your husband says something about your blog. He might mean it innocently, even
positively. But (hypothetically) you hear it differently. And you immediately
feel threatened, defensive, hurt. All of your (hypothetical) insecurity swells
to the surface in an instant. You can go with it. Milk it. Act on it. Hurt him
back. Or you can do the better thing and take it back to truth.
12. Adjust your
expectations.
So much of our disappointment and frustration—with
people, with life, with God—occurs because we presume that life should go our
way. I still remember the Friday night when the light bulb of this lesson first
switched on for me. I was driving home from work, mulling over my expectations
for the weekend and already becoming irritated, knowing that they wouldn’t be
met. So I decided to change them. Simple as that. I made the very conscious
decision to rewrite my personal plan for those two days. And I put only one
thing on my new agenda: “Love Peter well.” That I could do. And I was in no way
disappointed.
13. Take risks.
Follow God’s leading boldly into the unknown. Beyond
the horizon of your comfort zone. As a wise friend advised me when we were
trying to decide whether or not to put our hearts on the line to foster our
now-adopted son Daryl, “Do what you won’t regret.”
14. Press into pain.
While no one wants to experience pain, you will. Don’t
be shocked. Don’t run from it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t fight it. Let it burn.
Let it melt your heart. But never fear that God has abandoned you to the flame.
He is there. His presence is unwavering. He is pursuing you and purging the
dross. You are not being punished. You are being purified.
15. Realize that your
life is not about you.
It’s about God and His glory. I used to repeatedly
recite this mantra to myself when a big project loomed and I feared the
outcome. Would I succeed or fail? Would my reputation rise or fall? “It’s not
about me. It’s all about Him.” I said it over and over and over again. Still
do. And if He receives more glory from your failure, so be it. Accepting this
takes all of the pressure off.
16. Maintain an eternal
perspective.
Train your eyes on this hope, this inheritance, that
will “never perish, spoil or fade.” That is “kept in heaven for you.” For it is
in this that you are “filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.” Peter
(the Apostle, not the husband) said it better than I ever could. So we’ll leave
it at that.
17. Embrace grace.
Accept it with open arms and open heart. Hold it tight
until it soaks into your soul. Then release it. Give it away. To your family,
to your friends, to your church. When I was a twentysomething, my church was
falling apart. The pastor left. The leadership couldn’t agree. And the
congregation was about to split. I was disillusioned and critical. Sitting in
judgment over all of them. Looking down my nose with disgust. But that posture
helps no one, and it is not your place. Instead, be a conduit for grace.
18. Live loved.
Wake up every morning and—before you put your feet to
the floor—let your mind and heart linger on the fact that the Creator of the
Universe loves you passionately, completely, unconditionally and eternally.
Nothing matters more than this. This one truth can change absolutely
everything.
19. Never, ever get
another perm.
(A digression, I know. And yes, it is included because
I needed one more point to make 20. But, really, it deserves to be said. Right?
I’m pretty sure you were already thinking it.)
20. Finally, prepare to
be amazed.
Your life may look something like you envision. Or it
may take you to places that you never imagined. Regardless. Hold on tight.
Because God is in the business of blowing your mind.
repost from:http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/20-things-i-wish-id-known-my-late-twenties
