5 Things Your Habits Say About You

Behavioral therapists and others who study human behavior will tell you there’s only one difference between those who succeed and those who don't. “It’s all about their habits,” they say.

Our habits are patterns of repeated behavior—whether yoga every morning before the sun rises, lying, going to sleep at ten every night or smoking a pack a day. Specialists say that it takes around thirty days to form a habit—whether it’s a fitness routine or a tendency to lie.

Habitual behavior can make or break someone in today’s fast-paced, WiFi-loving, Starbucks-drinking culture. Because although not all habits are bad, they can shape a lot of who you are.

Here are five things your habits may be saying about you.

What do you hold as important and unimportant in this life? Just take a look at your habits.

1. They reveal what you value least—and most.

A habit as simple as arriving late or constantly procrastinating can show what you rank at the bottom of your scale of priorities—and also what you rank at the top. What do you hold as important and unimportant in this life? Just take a look at your habits. They will speak for themselves—and most likely, they will speak to others as well.

If you have a habit of working hard, helping others or always being on time to work, it shows that you see a great deal of value in your future, your character and your work ethic. Likewise, if you are perpetually late, interrupt times with friends because you always answer your phone or commit initially only to back out late, it will be clear to the people around you what comes first in your life—and what doesn’t.

2. They reveal where you spend your time.

Habits don’t just happen overnight. If a habit takes 30 days to form, then those 30 days will tell you a lot about your commitments. Are you cutting down on your Starbucks habit so that you can read Scripture in the morning before work? Or are you routinely hitting snooze and falling off your exercise program 10 days in? We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and have to make choices about we’re using our time. We make trade-offs based on what we deem most important at the time—for better or for worse.

3. They reveal the state of your mental health.

Our habits are shaped by either a self-disciplined will, or a powerful felt need—and the latter can often pull us into habitual sin.

Some habits are internal, more than external. They live in our thought processes, our attitudes and our outlook. And if these mental habits go unchecked, it can cause us to live in a state of mental compression because our habits are living our lives for us. But the truth is, mental health is the beginning of all habitual health problems. If a habit, such as envy, lust, comparison, discontent, takes root in your mind, that mental habit is eventually going to be given the reins to the rest of your health if not taken care of.

4. They reveal the state of your spiritual health.

Your habits play a massive role in your sinful nature. Our habits are shaped by either a self-disciplined will, or a powerful felt need—and the latter can often pull us into habitual sin. If you really think about it, most sin is derived from a habit that has been formed over an extensive period of time, and then exposes itself when that habit yearns to be activated. On the other hand, forming habits of prayer and worship can also create virtuous habits that can counteract the destructive pull toward sin.

5. They reveal the state of your physical health.

We’re a society of busy people—and there’s a multitude of fast food, drive-thru options just for our convenience.

Look at your food and exercise habits: do you make late-night taco runs, put off your gym membership renewal, lounge around playing video games all weekend? Or do you make it a point to work out three times a week, floss your teeth daily, fill your cart with produce? Your habits will tell you a thing or two about your physical health.

It’s easy to go about our days as usual—with our habits and routines fixed in place without a thought. But if we do evaluate our default patterns, we might learn what we’re doing well and where we have room for improvement. And in 30 days, we might even be able to turn ourselves around.

source: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/5-things-your-habits-say-about-you

20 Things People Over 20 Should Stop Doing

You've made it through your teens and most (or maybe all) of your schooling. You've probably had at least one job or internship. You've (hopefully) learned to act mature and professional.

But your twenties are a time for even more growth, for becoming independent and taking responsibility for your actions and how you influence others.

To that end, here are 20 things people over 20 should stop doing. And believe me, I’ve been guilty of most of them.

1. Spending money you don’t have

Credit cards may seem like an easy way to pay for things you really want, but in the long run they could really hurt you if not properly used. Stick to cash, debit or checks. This may seem old-school, but they will definitely help you manage your money. 

2. Wasting time on mindless entertainment instead of looking for a job

Video games (or Netflix or Facebook or whatever your choice of entertainment) can be extremely fun, but those games can sure take up a lot of valuable time that could be spent on more important areas of life. There is nothing wrong with playing them, as long as you balance the time needed for school, work and other important aspects of life.

3. Using the term “YOLO”

Simple. Please stop using it.

4. Only going to church to find a relationship

Not only will you hurt yourself in the long run, but you are also selfishly taking time away from a man or woman who is seeking after God’s wisdom and guidance. You can definitely find a great relationship at church, but don’t make that your only reason for attending.

5. Citing “Google” on a college paper or work presentation

It’s not a valid citation, and it could get you in some trouble.

6. Thinking you know it all

Nobody wants to spend time around a know-it-all. Walk in a posture of learning, and embrace every opportunity to gain new knowledge and wisdom.

7. Dating with no vision

You’re confusing your heart, and you’re hurting the hearts of others.

8. Demanding respect before you’ve earned it

Don’t get prideful. Learn to scrub the floors before you ask to manage the building. Don’t let self entitlement get the best of you.

9. Waiting until the last minute to do things

Stop procrastinating! Teach yourself diligence in all circumstances. Not only will this help you in your day-to-day life, but it will always help you set yourself up for the future.

10. Getting in arguments over social media

Nobody wants to see your drama on their news feed. Keep it to yourself and the people involved. Handle each situation in a mature and honorable manner.

11. Blaming others for your own mistakes

Drop your pride. Accept your failures. Learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot from the process.

12. Relying on your mother and father to constantly bail you out of trouble

Learn to take care of yourself instead of always relying on your mother and father. They aren’t always going to be around to help you.

13. Calling off work for no reason

You aren’t doing anyone a favor by calling off. Learn to be responsible, and value that job someone else in the world wishes they had.

14. Ignoring wisdom from people who are older than you

You don’t know everything. Take time to learn from people who having been living longer than you.

15. Thinking minimum wage is worse than no job at all

Don’t believe the lie that money is everything. Any job is a good start. Give your full attention to any job, no matter the pay.

16. Pretending like you didn’t know any better

Purposeful ignorance will only get you so far. Own up to your mistakes and take each failure as an opportunity to learn.

17. Using the excuse, “I’m too young”

You’re never too young. There is always room for you to succeed when hope is on your side. Have faith in yourself and the gifts God has given you.

18. Not planning for the future

Be diligent and plan for the future. Give yourself some goals, dreams and future aspirations. Give yourself something to wake up for in the morning.

19. Giving up before you start. Stop making excuses!

Excuses won’t get you anywhere! Better to try and fail than to regret never trying at all. At least you will learn something.

20. Being passive

If you don’t stand for something, you’ll eventually fall for anything.

There are plenty more things you should stop doing and other things you should start doing. Remember that no one is perfect, and these points are all things I myself have once struggled with or witnessed. But take some time to think through habits you need to give up and habits you need to cultivate. It will help guide your transition into true adulthood with fewer regrets and pitfalls.

source:http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/20-things-people-over-20-should-stop-doing

3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Single

I dusted off one of my old journals the other day. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t such a good idea.

I half-laughed/half-cringed while reading through the pages, listening to my 20-year-old self talk about life and dream about the future. I had a pretty good head on my shoulders (or at least I thought so), but even so, looking back I realize I had so many things wrong in my mentality as a single person.

There are so many things I know now that I wish I knew then—so many things that would have spared me heartache, grief and straight-up saved me time! I spent so much time dreaming, worrying and thinking about things that would never actually happen. I invested my energy in the wrong places and my emotions in the wrong people.

I get that some life-lessons have to be experienced in order to be learned, but I don’t always think that’s the case. Sometimes, I think someone who’s “been there, done that and learned from it” can give us some perspective and steer us in the right direction. As I reflect on my time as a single, here are some things I wish someone would have told me:

The most important person you could ever get to know is yourself

Sound obvious to you? Than you’re better off than I was. Back then, I probably would have told you that I “knew who I was,” but I really didn’t. The truth is, I didn’t take the time to get to know myself until far too late in my life as a single. And I don’t think I’m alone in that.

So many times, our years of singleness are spent focusing on who we’re going to be with, rather than who we are. Countless hours and limitless energy are poured into getting to know the person standing before us, many times, at the neglect of ourselves. We can spend so much time trying to find the right person, that we actually lose ourselves in the process.

I wish someone would have clued me in on the fact that getting my stuff together was a huge piece to the puzzle of a nourished relationship. Instead of fixating on relationships, I wish I would have invested more time in developing interests, understanding my personality, working through my past and wrapping my brain around my identity in Christ. Because at the end of the day, you can’t really know what you want in a relationship until you know who you are.

You will always attract the kind of person you believe you deserve

The truth is that we all come with some sort of a price tag. We rely on so many superficial things to measure our value and our worth by: appearance, intelligence, success. But no matter how you choose to calculate it, your price tag is determined by one thing and one thing alone: Yourself.

I wish someone could have told me that you get to determine the price that you will place upon yourself. But more so, I wish I would have known the reality that the price I choose is also the price at which I’ll be purchased. I spent so much of my life undervaluing my worth, thinking I wasn’t good enough, smart enough or cute enough. I made decisions based on what I believed I deserved, and my inability to see my true worth took me down some roads I wish I never would have traveled.

It’s important to get real with the price we place on ourselves and realize how valuable we are, because we have been made by a God who said so. A God who saw we were worth so much and paid a high cost just to prove it. One thing I wish someone would have told me is that if you want to attract someone who values you, you’ve first got to value yourself.

Your story has far more to do with who you are, than who you’re with

It’s hard not to be single-minded when you’re on the search for love (no pun intended). It’s easy to focus in on your desires in the here and now. But the truth is, finding a relationship is just part of God’s bigger story for your life. I think the most foundational truth that I’ve learned now that I’m a married woman is that my life has far more to do with finding my purpose than it ever did with finding someone to marry.

I love my husband, and I’m blessed by the marriage we have, but I realize that this relationship is just part of the bigger picture God has for my life. My purpose, my security, and my value weren’t resolved in the arms of my spouse. There is so much more that God has made me to do and to be, and so much more that I want to become.

Finding love is just part of the equation of my story, and it’s only part of yours, as well. Seek to find your purpose and pursue your God-given passions while standing alone. Because one thing I wish I would have known is that you’ll never regret investing in God’s bigger picture.

No matter who you are or what you’ve been through, my prayer is that you learn from my mistakes, because sometimes a simple perspective change can make all the difference in your life—and in your relationships.

source: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-when-i-was-single