It seems that we as a society have forgotten some important values,
and are generally becoming more immature as a result. There doesn’t seem
to be a differentiation between manliness and egocentric chauvinist
behavior in a lot of people’s minds, which is truly sad. You have people
saying things like 30 is the new 20, and grown men acting like entitled
spoiled children. The truth is that once you’ve stepped into your
mid-20s you should have gained enough life experience to be able to
behave like a mature adult.
The thing is, few young people – and too few older people as well,
I’m sad to say – don’t really know what it means to be a mature man. A
truly mature man is a strong and confident individual, a diligent
provider, passionate and caring lover, brave protector, problem solver,
careful listener, a safe port in a storm and a friend you can depend on.
Being a confident individual who knows a thing or two about life,
understands that others depend on him and has his priorities straight, a
mature man will never exhibit behaviors associated with inexperienced,
immature and weak people. Here are the things that mature men don’t do.
1. They don’t let fear keep them from achieving happiness and success
Fear – whether it be fear of failure, fear of being reprimanded or
fear of being rejected – is something that keeps most men back. Living
in fear means being docile and never seizing big opportunities, which
can negatively impact your career, love life, interpersonal
relationships and mental well-being. A mature man knows that fear is
always present, but he
knows who to deal with it.
He doesn’t hesitate to put himself out there and take some risks,
particularly when the only consequence to taking an action will be a
slightly bruised ego or a bit of discomfort. Mature men live on the very
edge of their comfort zone and take frequent trips into the wilderness
that lies beyond that edge.
2. They don’t go do things just to please others
You often see young guys who start working out to impress girls, men
who read up on wine tasting or art just so others perceive them as
classy, and you also have those who go out of their way to come across
as smart, so that their boss and coworkers will respect them more.
Mature men are not motivated by what others think – their actions are
motivated by a sincere desire to improve, learn and develop in a
direction that they themselves have chosen.
They train to be healthier and stronger, they read books and take
classes to expand their knowledge and develop skills in areas that they
find useful or interesting. In other words, they know who they are and
what they want, and although they respect others’ opinions, they are
only governed by what they believe is the best choice.
3. They don’t create an idealized image of a woman in their mind
Many relationships fall apart when immature men realize that the
image of the ideal woman that they have put on a pedestal and have been
admiring all this time doesn’t really sync up with reality. Many guys go
from zealous admiration to misguided misogyny when their deluded
expectations aren’t met by real women. Women are just like men – they
have their strengths and weaknesses, admirable traits and
forgivable faults, desires and fears. A mature man knows this and feels
much more at ease with women, seeing them as his equal, and can thus
develop sincere and healthy relationships.
4. They don’t get baffled by a woman’s words or actions
Even though mature men treat women as equals, they are aware of the
simple fact that men and women are fairly different on a number of
levels – e.g. from a biochemical, psychological and social standpoint.
We are brought up differently and
our brains are wired differently, and a mature man understands that women communicate, argue and are emotionally affected by things differently than men are.
This is why such a man is not easily baffled or angered by a woman’s
words or actions, and is more than capable of seeing things from a
different perspective and picking up on subtle cues – it’s not about
mind reading, just about developing a deeper understanding of the female
psyche and body language cues.
5. They don’t hold grudges
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha
Arguments will happen between family members, friends, lovers and
coworkers, it is inevitable if you spend a lot of time with someone.
However, a clear sign of maturity is the ability to cool off after an
argument and
let go of all the negative feelings.
You will hear the phrases “I’m sorry,” “forgive me, I was wrong to do
that,” “oh, just forget about it, it’s nothing, really,” and “water
under the bridge” spoken by mature men, as they give and receive
apologies and move on with their lives. Harboring resentment will poison
your relationships and lead to unhappiness.
6. They don’t feel insecure about their appearance and style
Another big issue many men have is that they feel insecure about the
way they look, dress and act. Insecurities lead to fear, anxiety and
anger, which will negatively affect your life in many different ways.
Insecure men are afraid to experiment with fashion as they don’t want to
be considered feminine, and they don’t feel comfortable in their own
shoes.
The world has evolved, and fashion sensibilities have drastically changed. There are a number of fashion accessories
that can be worn by both sexes,
and you don’t even have to sacrifice utility for style. A mature man is
confident in his appearance and unique fashion sense, and doesn’t care
about a few people disapproving or making negative comments.
7. They don’t distance themselves from their family
As the years go by and we mature, keeping strong family ties becomes
more apparent. There are some instances where it is not possible for a
family to stay close, but most of us can afford to spend a bit more time
with our parents, relatives, wife, and kids. Quality family time
strengthens bonds and a mature man sees himself as being part of a
larger codependent group.
8. They don’t allow people to bully them
There is a difference between being confrontational and
being assertive,
and it is not something that immature guys really understand. Mature
men have the self-respect, self-control and confidence to set and
enforce boundaries – if others try to push too far and bully them, these
men will stand their ground and project a strong dominant energy. They
cannot be coerced into doing something that they don’t want to do, nor
will they sit by and let someone walk all over them. There is no need
for them to resort to violence or shouting in most cases, as they can
solve problems by standing tall and speaking up for themselves in a
strong stern voice.
9. They don’t moan and despair when faced with challenges
Defeatism and moaning are things that a mature man sees no need for,
and has no time for. When faced with challenges this type of man will
remain collected, even helping calm others and keeping their spirits up,
and work on finding the right solution. Often sacrifices have to be
made and plenty of hard work put into solving big problems, but this is
not something that men should shy away from. It is a simple rule that
these men abide by – either put forth a constructive solution or stay
quiet until you can find one. This makes the people around them feel
safe and stay positive.
10. They don’t see their job as something boring that they have to put up with
While some people just view their jobs as something they need to push
through mindlessly, so that they can go home and do what they want, the
mature way of going about it is to give your best at your job and look
for opportunities to improve and take your career to the next level.
Mature men realize that others depend on them, so their career is a very
big priority. Constantly improving and striving to earn more so that
you can provide for your loved ones and still be able to afford some
luxuries that will make you happy – this is the goal that these men set
for themselves.
11. They aren’t afraid to take action and make difficult decisions
There will be times in everyone’s life where hard decisions need to
be made, and to overcome adversity you often need quick thinking and
the ability to take action at
the right moment. A mature man will make reservations in advance when
he wants to take his date out out, talk to his boss about a promotion
opportunity, sit his friends down and talk them out of doing something
stupid even if it means that they will get mad at him, put himself in
danger to protect his loved ones or sacrifice his comfort to ensure
their happiness. This doesn’t mean that mature men always know exactly
what to do or have the ability to handle any situation, but they will
try to the best of their ability to ensure a favorable outcome.
12. They don’t set unrealistic goals
Some people will often get disappointed and quit because they have
set unrealistic goals for themselves, right from the start and are then
unable to achieve them. An important aspect of maturity is being able to
correctly gauge your capabilities and be honest with yourself, which
allows mature men to set more realistic goals. They are patient enough
to dedicate themselves to slowly making progress in the long run and
understand that the ultimate goal isn’t attaining quick results, but
sustainable results.
13. They don’t let their ego get the best of them or act on impulse
In the end, the mark of a truly mature man is his ability to keep his
ego under check and actually think things through before doing
something. They understand that their actions might have undesired
consequences and look past the immediate moment, planning their actions
by anticipating what is to come, like an experienced chess player.
For example, they know that going on a shopping spree will put them
in dire financial straits come the end of the month or that holding a
grudge and starting a fight over little things will only make them feel
miserable in the end.
And there you have it – the things that a man must learn not to do
before he can be considered a mature adult. No one is perfect, and we
could all probably work on some of these things in our own lives,
striving to become better men overall.
